dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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