And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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