So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
