Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
