I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
