They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize