I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
