I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
