Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize