3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
