why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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