dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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