Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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