He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
