If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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