in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
