it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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