Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think my moral compass just broke
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
