i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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