Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
sex in a hospital.. check
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
