i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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