2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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