Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
