I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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