Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
