Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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