I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize