So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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