Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
