so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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