Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
