Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
