bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
