woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
