i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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