I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
