The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
