garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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