His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
