I heard we made out
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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