too bad you live with your parents still
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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