We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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