I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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