if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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