I'm really into asian looking animals
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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