yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
