I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
