As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
