whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
