he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
