I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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