Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
