I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
