Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
