The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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