mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
