you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize