11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
