Yo dont text me then not text me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I party with great urgency now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
