He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
