...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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