Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
